W turns 60

To celebrate the president's 60th birthday today, President Bush and Vice President Cheney reportedly decided to pull out the outfits they used to wear at the old Halliburton parties and attempt to show they still "have it."

Apparently, though, the Secret Service hates these "special" parties because they end up having to bottom for "Georgina" and "Rita," as they are both tops (a fact, of course, which comes as no surprise to the country, since the past 6 years have made it apparent that George fucks everything he touches and Dick screws everyone he meets).

At press time, reports that a White House staffer walked in on the two leaders doing it "Jefferson-style" in the Lincoln Bedroom could not be confirmed.