Hopeless Romantic, Part 1

I have been told on numerous occasions that I am a hopeless romantic. I suspect this is pretty accurate, because in spite of plenty of life events that could easily have made me a jaded, cynical, bitter queen, I still hope and plan to fall in love and live happily ever after. When I think of the "perfect" moment of sex, it's not the rough, sweaty stuff that comes to mind but rather it's the tender moment holding the guy you're crazy about next to you and looking into his eyes as you tenderly kiss him. Sappy? Corny? Perhaps, but that's me.

I can see this tendency in the type of porn that I enjoy. So much porn is just a couple guys who want some quick cash and sex but really are not all that much into the guys they are with. But occasionally you run across a porn where the guys are so passionate and intimate that you know they must be boyfriends, for a connection is there that has to be more than just base sexual attraction. Those are the videos I enjoy watching and the pictures I like to look at.

A recent conversation with a friend of mine got me thinking about this more. My friend has very different tastes than I. He prefers glory holes, orgies, and rough military sex. I, on the other hand, honestly do not comprehend the concept of being turned on by a glory hole and cannot imagine participating in that. It seems, to me, to take something that depends upon intimacy and removing everything personal and intimate from it.

So I began to think about romance. What is it that, when I look at a picture or video, catches my eye, and I say, "That's so romantic!" (Stop rolling your eyes, I can see that!) How is it that some couples exude that romantic aura....



...while other seem to just be going through the motions?



As I pondered this, I began to observe these things with a more focused eye, and I noticed patterns in "romantic" moments between couples. I began to list these, at first mentally, then typing them into my journal. I eventually came up with a list of 12 things that are common to couples that have that romantic "spark." It is something that I look for in porn, to be sure, but something I look forward to sharing with someone if I'm lucky enough to find someone to share those moments with. So, over the next 3 posts, I will present those 12 indicators of romance.

Here are the first four....

(1) The Romantic Setting

I mention this one first, simply because it is the least "spontaneous" of the 12 indicators. It is also dependent upon the others to make it romantic. Meaning, you can have the most romantic setting in the world, but without something clicking between the couple, it will just be picturesque, not romantic.

When you think of a romantic setting, it could be something far away, like a private moment in the water on a trip to the Caribbean...



Or it could be something close by, like an evening together at home in front of a crackling fireplace....



It could be a playful time together in the bath...



Or it could be a casual time together fixing breakfast....



These settings and many others will certainly be present often in the lives of a romantic couple.

(2) The Romantic Kiss

A romantic kiss is certainly one of the key indicators of romance. This is, to me, one of the easiest ways to spot acting vs. reality in porn. If the two guys never kiss, they might as well not bother having sex. But even when they do kiss, it is very clear when the kissing is expressing romance or not.

The romantic kiss will often start with little more than brushing your lips against his.



At the beginning, little is much, as that small, tender kiss can communicate volumes about his emotion for his partner.





For the romantic kiss, the couple knows that things are going to get intense eventually, but neither of them is going anywhere after the sex is over, so there is no rush, they can take the time to enjoy each other.





As the kissing continues, it builds in its intensity, as one holds the other's head with one hand and his body close with the other....





Perhaps nothing else so clearly communicates romantic feelings as does the kiss.

(3) The Way Their Faces Brighten Around Each Other

Two guys who are truly fond of each other cannot help but show it when they see each other.



Whether others are there to see....



Or the two are sharing time alone....



Sometimes no words are necessary, the look says it all.

(4) Playful Intimacy and Flirting

Another romantic indicator is when two guys are playful and flirtatious with each other in an intimate way.



It can be anything from a shy nuzzle....



To a hearty, playful hug....



But when a couple shares that intimate connection, playfulness and flirtation can be very romantic to see.

Click here for Part 2, the next four observations of this Hopeless Romantic!