Hope You've Enjoyed the Conversation Thus Far

One year ago today, on Friday, February 24, 2006, I began Auto-Gratification with a post titled "Talking To Myself." This was my third or fourth attempt at maintaining a blog (each of the others dying after a few short posts). But this one seems to be sticking. I have found that the reality of life keeps me from daily postings as I might like, but looking at my stats shows an average of slightly more than 3 posts per week, so I suppose that is adequate.

As is fairly common for new bloggers, it took me a bit to figure out what I wanted to do with the blog, so some of my early posts are rather boring. But, if the response from friends and acquaintances is any indicator, eventually things improved, and I hope I will continue to entertain or inform or slightly amuse you as the weeks go on.

For those who may not have been here the whole time, here's a few of my personal favorite posts that you might want to check out...

• Mardi Gras Origins (February 27, 2006) - My account of the year I attended the Mardi Gras celebration in the village of Binche, Belgium, where many of the traditions of the day originated.
• French Sex (April 30, 2006) - As I mention in my blog header, I am half-bilingual, so back in April, I decided to produce a brief guide de terminologie sexuelle française. Even if you don't speak any French, it is a fascinating (and sometimes amusing) look at the way Francophones express themselves in the bedroom.
• How to Help a Friend Who is Dealing with the Suicide of a Loved One (May 8, 2006) - Because of the tragedy that I have experienced and survived, I have posted a number of times over the past year on the topic of suicide. This post I wrote in the hopes of giving some practical advice in the event someone finds themselves trying to comfort a friend who is grieving the suicide of a loved one.
• Sometimes It Rains (June 28, 2006) - I occasionally write poetry in my journal, but I almost always use poetry to express things that are deeply personal, so only twice have I ever shared something I wrote in that realm publicly. This poem was written as a reminder of the value of friendship when the storms come.
• The Pink Letter (July 2, 2006) - I had probably more fun writing this post than nearly any other I have done. Being a fan of classic literature, I often am humored as I run across terms whose meanings have changed over time, a wonderful example being the word "queer." This post illustrates a number of classic literature passages in which they\ author employed that word, never realizing the new, humorous meanings their words would have decades later.
• Rice Queen, Part 1 and Part 2 (July 6-9, 2006) - Some thoughts on interracial romance in the gay community.
• My Coming-Out Story (October 11-December 10, 2006) - This ended up being a five-part series on my own personal coming-out story. I still intend to write an epilogue as I promised several I would do...perhaps that will be the post to start off my second blogging year.
• Choosing Our Battles Wisely (February 21, 2007) - My most recent post prior to this one, but something I feel very strongly about. I lived in Africa for a while and love the people there, so it saddens me to see so many critical of people who are sacrificially giving of their lives to help people they do not even know in lands far away.

Well, thanks to all who have read, commented, complimented, and even criticized me over the past year. I hope you will continue to visit my blog (and link to it!). I will try to make your visits worth the time you give to me. Cheers!

Choosing Our Battles Wisely

Recently, an anonymous commenter (ah, the joys of anonymity....headstrong statements with no personal consequence) criticized my promotion of the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign a couple months ago.

This commenter said:

You might want to note that the Red Campaign, while a great idea, is quite sexist in the distribution of its funds. As stated on the website: the donations go to women and children. Therefore, presumably, gay men will not in any way benefit from the work. Considering how indiscriminate the disease, it is unfortunate that money must be distributed in a discriminatory manner.

Since this comment was just made recently, it is unlikely that my response will be noticed by too many people, but Mr. or Ms. Anonymous kinda provoked my ire a bit, so I wanted to include my thoughts on a separate post here for your consideration. With slight modification, this is what I said in my response:

I think that perhaps you are being unnecessarily harsh on the campaign. The fact that they are raising funds only for women and children is not ipso facto sexist. The thrust of this particular fundraising drive is to raise money to provide the medicine that will keep a mother from passing HIV on to her unborn child, a goal that all of us would applaud. Just because this particular organization does not focus on every single person infected with HIV/AIDS is simply not sexist.

To focus on addressing one part of a complex problem in no way negates or lessens the work of others addressing a different part.It is no different than the Children's Memorial Hospital here in my hometown of Chicago. Is it sexist (or "ageist") when someone raises funds for the cancer unit of that hospital? After all, cancer indiscriminately affects adults as well as children. In fact, probably adults are even more at risk than children in many cases. So should those raising funds for that unit be criticized and rejected? Certainly not! The focus on fighting a problem in one area in no way negates or lessens the work of others fighting it in another area. Both are legitimate, both are essential, and both should receive support rather than criticism for their efforts.

Not only is it not sexist for the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign to operate as they do, it also is very likely more practical and efficient than a less-focused effort, for it gives very specific guidance and direction to those using the funding. Rather than arbitrary decisions concerning fund distribution, those involved know exactly what the money is to be used for and can simply focus on getting the medicine out as quickly as possible.

Additionally, if you look into Bono's efforts in Africa, you will find that the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign is only one aspect of his involvement with the needs of that continent. He has been instrumental in addressing many issues related to poverty and HIV/AIDS, and nobody who claims he is sexist in his efforts is even remotely fair to him.

And finally, it is a very selfish thing to assume that gay men will not benefit from the work of (PRODUCT)^RED. Do gay men not have nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, whose lives could be saved through the medicine provided by this campaign? Are we not members of a society and world community in which each of us is affected by the well-being, health, and prosperity of others? Are we gay men so selfish that we have to get the medicine for ourselves before we can be excited and enthusiastic about lives being saved? I certainly hope not!

And I hope that each of us will be more determined today and every day of our lives to figure out where the real enemies are and stop shooting at our friends.

(Note: For more information on (PRODUCT)^RED, click on the logo on the top portion of this blog's right-screen sidebar).

I Might Take Some Heat For This...

OK, so I feel like stirring up a bit of trouble this morning. I predict, with confidence, that in the (hopefully) not-too-distant future, the idea of an anthropogenic global warming crisis will be seen to be grossly overstated, if not outright false and foolish. Whether or not this happens before an Oscar and Nobel Prize are wasted on Al Gore may be debatable, but I look forward to seeing the entertainment as the lemmings begin to back-pedal and try to save face when the politico-science of anthropogenic global warming gives way to fact.

As US President John Adams wrote in 1770, in the days when he was a lawyer in Boston, "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence."



Now, I'm sure that my statements here have angered many, so feel free to fire away at me in the comments if you feel the urge. Don't worry; I can take it. Just do me a favor and bookmark this page or my e-mail address so that you can remember where to send your apology note when you realize I am correct.

Retread: Hopeless Romantic

A Happy Valentine's Day to each of you. In honor of this holiday, I want to re-post links to the "Hopeless Romantic" series of posts that I wrote last year. I think Valentine's day has the potential to be a wonderful holiday, although cynicism and commercialism are constantly attempting to creep in. But I still see a world in which people fall in love and find passion in producing joy in the life of a partner. So, how is it that we identify the true romantics? Check these out for a starter's guide to romance:

• Hopeless Romantic, Part 1
• Hopeless Romantic, Part 2
• Hopeless Romantic, Part 3