Pick-up Lines

"Well, since we're gonna be workin' together, I reckon it's time we start drinkin' together." - Jack Twist

First of all, am I losing my mind, or did anybody else notice that this pick-up line from the trailer of Brokeback Mountain is not actually in the movie?

But, in the spirit of tacky pick-up lines, here are some that I found which, depending on your desperation level, could be either entertaining or functional. Warning: Many of these are entirely tasteless, and are included here simply because of the bad influence of dirty-minded friends of mine.

"Excuse me. Can I flirt with you?"

"Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?"

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants."

"Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?"

"Hi. You'll do."

"I think I could fall madly in bed with you."

"That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor."

"Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."

"Excuse me, do you live around here often?"

"Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?"

"Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too."

"Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?"

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"

"Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time." (reprinted by permission from James Haenes)

"Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?"

"I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!" (please note that initial field research has shown this line to be somewhat ineffective)

"Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway."

"Sex is a killer...want to die happy?"

"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."