Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk

As I mentioned in May that I was going to do, I participated on Saturday and Sunday in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk here in Chicago. This is a 20-mile walk intended to raise support for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, as well as to increase awareness of the problem of suicide and to decrease the stigma about discussing suicide in society today. My motivation for participating in this walk was that I lost my boyfriend Alfred to suicide ten months ago, on October 13, 2005.

The Out of the Darkness walks were held in San Francisco and Chicago, with over 2,200 walkers raising about $3.5 million for research in suicide prevention and support for survivors of suicide (a term referring to those family and friends who have lost a loved one to suicide). Each participant raises a minimum of $1,000 in order to participate, but some raise much higher amounts. The top fundraiser in Chicago raised $25,000.



The walk began on Saturday evening at Soldier Field, a place where I had never been before this summer (in spite of having lived in the Chicago area off and on for about 8 years of my life) but where now I have been twice in a month. It would be difficult for me to describe the overwhelming feeling of seeing the 1,200-plus people who were gathering on the lawn, each of whom had been personally touched by suicide.

The participants each wore colored beads, signifying their relation to the person who completed suicide (red for a spouse or partner, white for a son or daughter, orange for siblings, gold for parents, purple for other relatives, etc.). It was moving to see some people who wore two or three necklaces of different colors. The mood was unlike anything I have experienced before, with a soberness and reflectiveness, perhaps even melancholy with a few tears, but suffused with a hope and optimism and a determination to rise above the pain and make a difference that goes far beyond symbolism.

Click below to continue reading about the Overnight Walk...


Here I am before the walk begins

I joined Alfred's sister and a group of her friends, each of whom had lost a sibling to suicide. Just as the sky began to become dark, there was a brief opening ceremony, during which several people spoke of their personal experiences and motivation for participating. The executive director of the AFSP spoke and thanked everyone for participating, and then he sent us off.



Again, in a night charged with emotion, it was a powerful thing to look back as we walked from Soldier Field and to see all the walkers snaking their way along the walkway.



Now, on a side note, I have never walked along the lake here in Chicago for any distance late at night before, and I continued to grow in my love for this city. Our path took us from Soldier Field heading north through the museum campus past the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium, then cut over to Columbus Drive and through Grant Park. Then, we cut back over to the lake and walked past Navy Pier and along the beaches.



At North Avenue Beach, we crossed under Lake Shore Drive and walked up through Lincoln Park, and the route continued all the way north to Foster Avenue Beach. That was the halfway point, and after a midnight meal, the walkers reversed course and returned to Soldier Field.



I have mentioned to many people that I hope and pray that nobody I know will ever again have to go through the pain of losing someone to suicide. So, I am grateful for the things I have learned about this problem, and I am so thankful for the chance to be a small part of the efforts to help others struggling with depression so that they and their families can be spared from such horrible tragedy.



My sincerest thanks and gratitude to each person who contributed to this effort. If you would still like to contribute to this very worthy cause, you can (at least for now) still give a donation on my Overnight Walk fundraising page, or you can give a donation directly on the AFSP website.