Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk

As I mentioned in May that I was going to do, I participated on Saturday and Sunday in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk here in Chicago. This is a 20-mile walk intended to raise support for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, as well as to increase awareness of the problem of suicide and to decrease the stigma about discussing suicide in society today. My motivation for participating in this walk was that I lost my boyfriend Alfred to suicide ten months ago, on October 13, 2005.

The Out of the Darkness walks were held in San Francisco and Chicago, with over 2,200 walkers raising about $3.5 million for research in suicide prevention and support for survivors of suicide (a term referring to those family and friends who have lost a loved one to suicide). Each participant raises a minimum of $1,000 in order to participate, but some raise much higher amounts. The top fundraiser in Chicago raised $25,000.



The walk began on Saturday evening at Soldier Field, a place where I had never been before this summer (in spite of having lived in the Chicago area off and on for about 8 years of my life) but where now I have been twice in a month. It would be difficult for me to describe the overwhelming feeling of seeing the 1,200-plus people who were gathering on the lawn, each of whom had been personally touched by suicide.

The participants each wore colored beads, signifying their relation to the person who completed suicide (red for a spouse or partner, white for a son or daughter, orange for siblings, gold for parents, purple for other relatives, etc.). It was moving to see some people who wore two or three necklaces of different colors. The mood was unlike anything I have experienced before, with a soberness and reflectiveness, perhaps even melancholy with a few tears, but suffused with a hope and optimism and a determination to rise above the pain and make a difference that goes far beyond symbolism.

Click below to continue reading about the Overnight Walk...


Here I am before the walk begins

I joined Alfred's sister and a group of her friends, each of whom had lost a sibling to suicide. Just as the sky began to become dark, there was a brief opening ceremony, during which several people spoke of their personal experiences and motivation for participating. The executive director of the AFSP spoke and thanked everyone for participating, and then he sent us off.



Again, in a night charged with emotion, it was a powerful thing to look back as we walked from Soldier Field and to see all the walkers snaking their way along the walkway.



Now, on a side note, I have never walked along the lake here in Chicago for any distance late at night before, and I continued to grow in my love for this city. Our path took us from Soldier Field heading north through the museum campus past the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium, then cut over to Columbus Drive and through Grant Park. Then, we cut back over to the lake and walked past Navy Pier and along the beaches.



At North Avenue Beach, we crossed under Lake Shore Drive and walked up through Lincoln Park, and the route continued all the way north to Foster Avenue Beach. That was the halfway point, and after a midnight meal, the walkers reversed course and returned to Soldier Field.



I have mentioned to many people that I hope and pray that nobody I know will ever again have to go through the pain of losing someone to suicide. So, I am grateful for the things I have learned about this problem, and I am so thankful for the chance to be a small part of the efforts to help others struggling with depression so that they and their families can be spared from such horrible tragedy.



My sincerest thanks and gratitude to each person who contributed to this effort. If you would still like to contribute to this very worthy cause, you can (at least for now) still give a donation on my Overnight Walk fundraising page, or you can give a donation directly on the AFSP website.

Homophobic Chicago Radio V103 Muzzles Jody Watley

Palochi reports that R&B artist and Chicago native Jody Watley, who sang "It All Begins With You" at the opening ceremony of Gay Games VII at Soldier Field in Chicago last week, was forbidden to speak of her upcoming Gay Games appearance by Chicago's V103 radio station ("Today's R&B and Old School") during an interview she graciously consented to give them. Apparently, the radio's DJ, who is a friend of Watley's family, told her before the interview that the station manager had demanded that he instruct her not to mention the Gay Games but rather only speak of her (much less significant) appearance at the Virgin Records store. Watley complied with the injunction but later spoke of her disappointment to a reporter at Soldier Field: "It just sort of reaffirms a narrow mindedness and a close mindedness that I think is very unfortunate."

I will readily admit that I was unfamiliar with Jody Watley before hearing her sing at Soldier Field, since I am not very knowledgeable about R&B music. However, after reading about her here, I must say I am very impressed with her. She seems to be a very compassionate and principled lady who has taken risks in her career to speak out for equality both in her life and her lyrics, long before it was as accepted as it is today. She has been heavily involved in fundraising for AIDS research and relief in Africa, and from what I saw on the video clip that I will include later in this post, she seems to be a very sincere and thoughtful person.

I can't improve on what Palochi wrote in his post, so I reproduce the last part here:

If you’re a listener of V-103, feel free to let them know what you think of their tactics.

WVAZ-FM V103
233 North Michigan Ave, Suite 2700
Chicago, IL 60601
(312) 540-2000
http://www.v103.com/main.html
V103 is a Clear Channel Communications Property
Earl Jones, Regional VP/Market Manager
Angela T. Ingram, VP, Communications
Elroy R. C. Smith, Operations Manager
Armando Rivera, Asst. Program Director

Please be aware that parent company Clear Channel’s WKSC (KISS-FM) in Chicago is the home for “Pride Radio.”

As usual, they want our advertising and marketing revenues. But when it comes to community…

And thank you, Ms. Watley, for being such a phenomenal artist and for all you’ve done over the years to show your support for my community. You’re a class act.

Click below to see "behind the scenes" of Jody Watley at Soldier Field...

And, for further reading check out this article on Keithboykin.com.

Gay Games Closing Ceremony

Saturday afternoon concluded a great week in Chicago, as we were privileged to be the host city of the Gay Games VII. At 3 pm, I joined my brother and my visiting friend Melo (pictured above) for the closing ceremonies of the Games at Wrigley Field.

Now, after the problems of the opening ceremony, in which the program started out great but quickly lost steam and became quite boring for far too long, I was a bit concerned about whether or not they would learn their lesson and make the closing ceremony any better.

And, I will gladly say that they did a much better job in most respects. Personally, I would have been happy for the program to be entirely entertaining without any of the "political rally" stuff, but I understand and appreciate that there were likely many there who felt that to be very important, and I think they did a good job of keeping it in balance and not letting it go on and on and on and on like in the opening ceremony. In particular, the speech by Leigh-Ann Naidoo I thought was captivating and powerfully-delivered.

But, I am getting ahead of myself. The ceremony began with the entrance of all the competitors from the games. Unlike the opening, where each country or US state was introduced individually (which took a long time but had a wonderfully-satisfying conclusion with the pride flag of lights that they created), this time they just all came out in a huge stream from two entrances in the outfield.







And, the procession was the very first thing while spectators were still coming in and getting settled, done while the Gay Games VII Mixed Chorus sang several very nice and fun songs (though when they sang 'Seasons of Love' from Rent, that got a little bit too gay for my taste...just kidding, of course).



Following the processional, BETTY performed a unique and very cool version of the US National Anthem, certainly not your typical performance of the tune, but far more entertaining than most.



Next, Dylan Rice and Chuck Panozzo performed a song called "The Faces of Victory" that was written for this ceremony. It had a nice tune, but they were apparently having problems with the sound set-up, because most of the words were kinda muffled. After the song came one of those moments when you have no doubt this is a gay event, the performance by the various cheerleading teams that had come in for the Games, presented ever-so-stereotypically to the song "Dancing Queen." Actually, although the cheerleaders get their fair share of ribbing (humorously, even from us gays), the performance was well done and quite impressive.


*Note - The video clips in this post were not filmed by me, but all the photographs were taken by me.

Then, just as the ceremony was hitting full stride, they brought out the two directors of the Federation of Gay Games who gave their obligatory welcoming speeches (i.e. - 'pat ourselves on the back' speeches). They spared us from the tediousness of the opening ceremonies, but they still had nearly killed the momentum of the program when Poppy Champlin came out with a great comedy routine (the second-best of the night).



We breathed a sigh of relief as Poppy kindly got us back into the spirit of fun in which we came to the ceremony. But then, they brought out the cast members of The L Word (Pam Grier, Marlee Matlin, Daniela Sea), and they were awful. For people who supposedly are so talented and are in the business of entertainment, they were one of the most boring and unprepared parts of the entire show. It seemed as if the only reason they were out there was because they were famous, so write-ups about the event would mention they were there.

As we were about to doze off, they introduced a group of belly dancers, who might as well have been a Cubs game for all the interest it generated from the crowd. By this time, I was about to have flashbacks to the interminableness of the opening ceremonies, especially when I saw the next program item was greetings from about 10 politicians. Mercifully, only one spoke, and her job was simply to introduce each of the others for applause, after which they left.

Desperate for something to salvage the show before it became as uninteresting as stories of Rosie O'Donnell's love life, we found ourselves looking to a very unlikely hero, Chicago's very-own and oft-mocked ROTC (Righteously Outrageous Twirling Cops), who performed a routine to "Don't Leave Me This Way." All I can say is, I offer public apology for any disparaging comments I made about the ROTC in the past. They were thoroughly entertaining.



Next came a short speech by Billy Bean and his introduction of South African Olympic volleyball player Leigh-Ann Naidoo, who gave a powerful and moving speech about the need to continue working for equality around the world. It accomplished in five or six minutes more than about two hours' worth of the opening ceremony that was dedicated to the same topic.

Her speech was followed by the ceremonial ignition of the flame (I'm not even going to joke about that, way too easy). This may very well have been the low point of the ceremony, as some group banging drums (I think they were at least; we could vaguely hear something coming from the field) stood out there and pounded away with no audio support from a single microphone. The sound was almost completely lost and certainly had no impact when, in their dramatic conclusion, they all lifted their hands simultaneously and the little flame popped out of the torch. Instead of being dramatic, it was almost comical.



Fortunately, during these intermittent dull moments, we were entertained by a couple drunk guys who seemed to be enjoying every moment of the show, so it was bearable.



Finally, we got to the stuff that can make any gay event successful: divas, dance music, showtunes, sexual humor, hot gay cowboys, and Cyndi Lauper. The run began with performances by Ari Gold and Kristine W (I hate to suggest she was overdressed for the occasion, but I'm sure she wanted to look fabulous).







Sharon McNight performed "Impossible Dream" (beautiful) and "Stand By Your Man" (fun, especially watching the guy in the row ahead of us trying to sing along when he knew only about half the lyrics). This led in to one of my favorite moments of the ceremony, the DC Cowboys. As Sharon McNight left the stage, the theme from Brokeback Mountain came over the speakers, and two cowboys came from opposite sides of the field, met, and made out passionately, to the cheers of all of us who still fantasize that someday, somehow, our Heath Ledger will come. They were joined by the rest of the DC Cowboys who did some totally fun dances, including one to (of course) "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."





They were followed by the comedy of Ant, who was very funny. I loved his arguments that gay people, rather than being inept at sports, very likely were the originators of many of the sports (such as boxing... "two topless guys, in silk shorts, fighting over a belt and a purse" or baseball..."nine men running around diamonds, trying to get into a batter's box").

Next were two guys that I have never heard of before, Eric Himan and Levi Kries. Perhaps I am just ignorant about them, but neither of the two who were with me knew who they were either.



The songs were fine, though it would have sucked to be them, since everyone in the place knew what was coming next...



Yes, Cyndi Lauper, the headliner of the show, came out in a dress that the Statue of Liberty would wear if she was a lesbian, performing "True Colors" and "Shine." Interestingly, she was the only part of the ceremony that was not announced by the PA speaker. I thought that was a pretty cool compliment, as if to say, here is someone who needs no introduction. The crowd loved her, of course, and she was a great way to close out the entertainment of the show.



The remainder of the ceremony was the routine that closes out events of this type. The Federation of Gay Games flag was brought out onto the field by representatives of Chicago, led by Mayor Daley, and it was passed to representatives of the city of Cologne, Germany, where the 2010 Gay Games will be held.









Mayor Daley said more well-prepared and thoughtful remarks, receiving the warmest ovation he has received recently, I am sure. He then declared Gay Games VII to be over, at which time the unremarkable flame unremarkably went out. He then passed off to Elfi Scho-Antwerpes, the Deputy Mayor of Cologne, who gave a speech that went a bit too long. However, I had to admire the courage of someone who would stand up in front of such a large crowd to give a speech in a language that was obviously not her first.



As the flag and representatives left the field, the chorus sang "Take the Flame", the official anthem of the Gay Games. Then, in what may very well be the most anti-climactic (and, frankly, odd) conclusion ever, interpretive dancers performed some sort of dance, after which they grabbed armfuls of little pom-poms that were supposed to look like torches, I guess, and handed them to people in the first rows of the stadium seats, as "Amazing Grace" was sung. The pom-poms were, of course, immediately swallowed by the size of the crowd, and then it was over. No big impressive finale, just the PA guy thanking us for coming.=





All in all, though, in spite of a few hiccups, the ceremony was enjoyable, entertaining, appropriate in length (just under 3 hours), and memorable.

I left the place feeling rather melancholy, knowing that such a time I may never see again in this life, but yet I was enriched by the experience and determined to be a more involved and dedicated member of the gay community.

Just kidding.

Actually I was just dying for a drink by that point.

In conclusion, here are two final video clips. The first is a nice 8 minute montage someone put on YouTube that shows highlights from the entire ceremony. Nicely done:



And then, because you can never have too many Brokeback Mountain tie-ins, here is a clip of a male couple competing in the figure skating competition this week:

Thoughtful and Clever

I am working on a couple posts concerning the Gay Games VII here in Chicago and the Closing Ceremony which was held today, and I hope to post those in the next day or two. But I just wanted to show this picture I took of a Miller Lite ad that was on one of the billboards that can be seen from the stands at Wrigley Field where the ceremony took place. Funny, clever, and pretty thoughtful for them to think ahead far enough to have prepared it just for the ceremony (I am wondering if they already had it up during the Cubs/Astros game on Thursday or not).

Gay Games Week: Cowboy Figure Skating

I am taking some time off work later in the week to watch some of the games, but today is a work day for me, so I have not yet been able to see any of the figure skating competition. I mention figure skating, of course, because more than most any other of the Gay Games competitions, it is so difficult for me to imagine gay guys competing in such a butch sport. I mean, let's be honest, Johnny Weir is not someone you would want to meet walking alone in a dark alley, you know? So, in honor of gay figure skating, I am posting this video clip of figure-skating cowboys that I found linked to from Queerty (think Brokeback Mountain on Ice). It is safe for the office, but your Kinsey Scale rating will increase by at least 2 points just by watching it. As the Queerty blog comments, it may be the gayest video clip you will ever see, even gayer than gay porn. The comment at the beginning is classic: "I think the women in the audience are gonna like this one." Yeah, that's it, just the women....right.

By the way, here's a great quote from a reporter writing for the Northwest Herald newspaper, commenting on his attendance at the rowing competition in Crystal Lake Sunday (you may remember that Crystal Lake was the place where people put up such a fuss a few months back about having the Gay Games competition held there). Reporter David Brown states:

The athletes (many of whom were gay and some of whom were not) went in and out of the blue-green water. When they climbed into the boats, they put their oars in the water much like anybody would – like you'd see during any rowing competition, gay, not or undeclared.

The scene was peaceful and organized but not too intense (until the rowing started, certainly). It didn't look like the snippets you might see on TV from a gay pride parade.

Nobody in a diaper. Not a whole lot of flamboyance, period. The most conspicuous-looking folks were the fire and brimstone [protesters], who were dressed nicely but not for the beach. Them, and the cops – nobody from the Village People – but actual peace officers on duty.

Most everyone else left their costumes at home, if he or she had one to start with.

To realize that a "gay regatta" was occurring on Crystal Lake, the lake, you had to know it was gay going in.

Nothing appeared forced, or forced-upon, in any way. Just some folks rowing their boats for fun and for prizes. Being athletic. Being a teammate. Supporting each other. Being themselves. Having fun.

Very cool. It's nice when someone in the media gets it.

And, speaking of hot cowboys....

Gay Games Opening Ceremony

Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the opening ceremonies for Gay Games VII in Chicago, held at Soldier Field (a big stadium that, apparently, is used for athletic events of some sort at times). And, although the ceremony has justly received some criticism for dragging on too long, overall I thought it was a wonderful night.

The ceremony began with the introduction of the athletes by country or, in the case of the USA, by state. As each group of participants would enter the field, they would be led by someone holding a large banner with the country's name and someone carrying the country's flag. It was interesting to see the various responses to the introduction of the countries. China's delegation received a very warm ovation, as we certainly respect the difficulty those athletes must face being gay in that society. Just before the United States was announced, a lone athlete from Uganda was introduced, carrying his country's flag, and he received one of the most enthusiastic responses of the night.

As the USA players were introduced state by state, it struck me as very odd that Illinois' delegation consisted only of about 20 or 30 people. People around me noticed as well, and some were surmising that all the Illinois people were volunteering so were not able to walk out onto the field. My friend who was with me kept laughing because I insisted that there had to be more than that.

But then, sure enough, after all the other participants were announced, the announcer stated, "And now, ladies and gentleman, our hosts for Gay Games VII, the athletes of the city of Chicago!" Immediately the field was flooded with 2,500 participants, most wearing sky-blue shirts the color of the Chicago city flag. It was very cool and even emotional to watch as a Chicagoan, and it was very exciting to realize that my city is one of only six in the world to host the Gay Games (the others being San Francisco in 1982 and 1986, Vancouver in 1990, New York City in 1994, Amsterdam in 1998, and Sydney in 2002. The 2010 Gay Games, by the way, will be held in Cologne, Germany).

Finally, after all 12,000 athletes were out on the field, the announcer stated, "Ladies and gentleman [I thought he should have included more options than that considering the crowd], the athletes of Gay Games VII." Immediately, all the lights in the stadium went out, and the participants, who had been given little pen lights of various colors, held up their lights to reveal a huge pride flag (pictured below). Very, very cool moment.



Click below for more comments and pictures of the opening ceremonies...

The flag was missing the yellow stripe, but perhaps they couldn't get yellow lights or something. Still very moving effect, and the excitement in the stadium was intense.



Photos before the lights were turned off....







I love this picture...





Not the best panorama ever, but I didn't have a tripod to keep the camera steady. At least it gives some perspective....



After the athletes left the field, the ceremony continued with what started out to be an enjoyable program. An early highlight was an appearance by Will & Grace's Megan Mullally (Karen Walker), who is just as awesome in real life as you would expect. Here's a photo that, if you squint, you can kinda tell it is her....



She gave a nice speech and then introduced Chicago Mayor Richard Daley. Now, Mayor Daley, whether you love or hate his politics, is frankly a pretty cool guy. His support of projects such as the revitalization of Navy Pier and the building of Millennium Park has helped to make Chicago a destination spot far more than it was when I first visited the city as a California boy on vacation back in 1987. And I had heard that he has been supportive of the gay community in Chicago.

But my personal estimation of the mayor rose considerably during his speech Saturday evening. It is often easy to tell when a politician is saying something that, although he perhaps believes it, is something he says primarily for political expediency. But, as Mayor Daley began speaking about the struggle for equality for gay and lesbian people in America, something seemed to change in his voice and tone, and I felt that he became personally and emotionally involved in what he was saying. It seemed to be words not to win (or in this case, maintain) votes but rather words that he truly believes and believes are worth working for even by those who, like him, are not homosexuals. It was another moment that I was grateful to be from Chicago.

As the evening progressed, there were various speeches, musical numbers, and even interpretive dances....





However, sometime around the second unfulfilling interpretive dance or the eighth extended political speech, the program really began to drag. It got to the point that significant numbers of people got up and left. I wanted to stay, because I had heard that the end was something worth seeing; however, by 11:30 p.m., I had to leave, because a friend had paid for my (rather expensive) ticket to the opening party at the Aragon Ballroom, so I could not keep him waiting any longer (a party that was wonderful, aside from the part where I threw up).

After I left, according to my brother who stayed for the remainder of the ceremony, the show dragged on for a while longer, but then near the end Margaret Cho made an appearance that was entertaining, and then the very end of the ceremony was quite a spectacle of fireworks and lights, complete with acrobatics by Cirque du Soleil. The program, which began at 8:00 p.m., finally concluded about 12:30 a.m. So, all in all, the ceremony, in spite of a brevity problem, was a wonderful experience.

As I sat in Soldier Field, numerous thoughts crossed my mind. First, I wondered how many people there, like me, had never before been inside Soldier Field or other NFL arena (and what were those white chalk markings all over the field?). More significantly, I thought that this was likely the largest group of like-minded people I would ever share company with in my lifetime (and the crowd was not entirely gay by any means. I saw a number of straight people, entire families in fact). I thought how privileged I am to live in a city that would be so accepting and welcoming to an event that has such significant opposition in some quarters.

And, over and over again, I thought how I wished so many of my family and friends who oppose my lifestyle could have been there with me, to see that we are not some extreme, twisted, back-of-the-alley group of people who live for nothing more than sexual escapades. Rather, with only a couple exceptions, the entire ceremony was perfectly family-friendly and presented a wonderful picture of the gay community. Certainly, it is perhaps a picture of what we aspire to be though may not always attain, but it is a picture of people who try to contribute to society, participate in all aspects of community life, and help to hold others up when they are weak. There was some anger and over-wrought rhetoric to be certain (as there will be in any group required at times to rally around a political process), but the over-arching message was one of unpretentious confidence and community. If I may momentarily indulge in cliché, I was "proud" to be in the audience. I am looking forward to the closing ceremony at Wrigley Field next Saturday, if for no other reason than that it begins much earlier, at 3:00 p.m., so it won't interfere with the closing party that I will be attending that night.

In conclusion, I love the words of Dr. Tom Waddell, the founder of the Gay Games, that he gave at the first games held in San Francisco in 1982. He said, "Today, we open new doors and we not only step out, we emerge with bounding energy and unlimited opportunity. We will learn many things about ourselves this week, and we will educate an untold number of others. We are simultaneously students and teachers. Let us hope that the audience at large is receptive to our expanded images. Let us hope that this process continues its evolution to dispel all arbitrary notions of our character."

More of us in the gay community need to learn to view ourselves as teachers rather than "activists" only. I truly believe this would help us to make in-roads into the hearts of the majority of people (in America, at least) who are open-minded and fair, but who simply have had the truth of gay people drowned out by the shrill, loud voices of a few who present them a parody of us so extreme as to have lost any resemblance to reality.