Pride Radio in Chicago

I'm not sure how I missed this before, but on June 16, Chicago got a gay radio station. Admittedly it requires an HD Digital Radio receiver and subscription to listen to the radio in your car, but you can listen for free online.

The station is apparently run by KISS FM 103.5, as the online listening is run through their site. I really don't know much at all about the station, but it seems it is primarily music geared toward a gay audience. I only had about 15 minutes to listen earlier today, and had there been a shirtless twink next to me flashing the lights in my office on and off, I would have thought I was in Roscoes.

Well, it's always nice to see when successful businesspeople recognize the profit in valuing the gay community. And, for the detractors who feel that a gay radio station that plays all dance music reinforces certain stereotypes about us queers, well, there's a reason for those sterotypes, honey! (Let me see you put your hands up!)

And On a...er..."Lighter" Note....

This is funny and disturbing on several fronts.

From Reuters.com....

Operation removes lightbulb from anus
Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:34am

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

Sometimes it Rains

One of my dearest friends just received life-altering news. This poem is dedicated to him.

(Note: I am anything but a good poet, so take this as a heart-felt song rather than any attempt to pass myself off as truly poetic.)

Sometimes It Rains
-by Eukolos

It rained tonight.

No.
It stormed.
With all the fury of nature.

Obscuring
the road in front of me,
Forcing
me to look down at my feet,
Removing
the opportunity to see what lies further on.

The ground
soaked,
slippery,
precarious to my step.
Unsteady,
Uncertain.

And as the rain falls
I am afraid I will fall.
The storm swirling around,
my balance thrown off.
And I fear
if I fall
I will not rise again.

The wind
Howling,
Agonizing,
Frightening me.

I run.
Wet.
Feeling lost.
I am lost.

Am I?
I don't know where I am
But I am compelled
by some unseen force to keep

running
running
running.

I am lost.

Or at least
I don't know where I am
Or how to get where I need to go.

I don't even know if the path continues ahead of me.
Because I can't lift my eyes up from the ground.
If I glance away for a moment I know I will lose my balance and fall
and never
be able
to get
up
again.

But what is this?

I am home.
It's still raining.
I am still wet.

But I am home.

How did I get here?
How did I make it when I never was able
even for a moment
to look up from my feet?

Oh,
I remember.

My friend.

You have been here this whole time.
I was so focused on my storm that I didn't notice you at first.

But you were there
helping me keep my balance
when the winds threatened to throw me to the ground.

You were there
helping me stay on the path
when I did not have the ability even to believe the path was still there.

You were there
helping me find my way home
when these changes in my life nearly overwhelmed me.

You were there.
Directing my steps.
Holding me up.
Infusing hope.
Giving me your strength
When mine was gone.

Yes, in life,
Sometimes it rains.

But there is hope.
For a friend is there
To guide me
Home.

Just Desserts

This is great. A girl in New York left her T-Mobile Sidekick II cellphone in a taxi cab and the person who found it decided to keep it and not return it. So the girl's friend put together this web page and decided to try to publicly shame and humiliate the people who wouldn't return the phone. It is well worth reading through the entire page. Very entertaining and satisfying (like an evening spent with me).

Pride Weekend 2006 Retrospect

Three years ago this past weekend, a month before my 28th birthday, I took one of the most significant steps of my life and walked into a gay bar in Chicago on Friday of Pride Weekend 2003. That night was the first time I was ever (knowingly) around more than one other gay person at the same time, the first time I ever danced, the first time I ever drank alcohol (a Screwdriver, a Sex on the Beach, and a Long Island Iced Tea that night), and the first time I ever stayed the night at a guy's house (there were a couple other "firsts" for me that night as well, but you get the idea). Unfortunately, I had to leave the next morning for a business trip to Dallas, so I was unable to stay for the parade; however, that night began a new phase of my life that has turned everything upside down (or maybe more accurately, finally put it right-side up). Two months later I came out to my family, and a month after that I moved to Chicago.

So, this weekend was my fourth Pride Weekend in Chicago and third time watching the parade. Here are my top 5 comments about the weekend:

1. Tied for Most Boring Parade Ever (tied with itself on previous years)

• 250 groups and floats. 41 politicians. Approximately 0% originality. About the only entries that were interesting were the ones that used sexual humor, which, while entertaining, is the easiest and least creative form of humor (I plan to do a more extensive post on that topic soon). There are about 3 entrants I look forward to each year. Dykes on Bikes rock (yes, it's true that lesbians scare me but what's not to love about women in leather on loud motorcycles?). I appreciate the Pride Band. And the Chipotle float, because they give out coupons for free burritos. The rest of the entries are either politicians waving for votes, local celebrities waving at people who don't know or care who they are, or drunk and high guys dancing shirtless to club music (I can see that at Hydrate; give me something more interesting at the parade!). And this year Chipotle ran out of coupons before they got to me, so that nearly ruined my day.
• I have noticed a very distinct trend for those who attend pride parades. Year 1 - Totally fun, exhilarating, "freeing"...instead of marginalization, who I am is celebrated. Year 2 - Still fun, but didn't I see that same float last year? Year 3 - Stupid Chicago pride parade is the worst-run parade ever. Why am I back here again? I'll just stay home next year. Year 4 - The realization hits that we're not really here to watch the parade; we just want an excuse to have a drunken outdoor party with our friends. Suddenly it's fun again, but who are all those people in the street waving and holding signs?
  

2. Celebrity over Substance in Grand Marshal Selection

• This year's Grand Marshal was George Takei, the actor who played Mr. Sulu on the original Star Trek TV series. The 69-year-old Takei revealed last October that he is gay and has been in a relationship with his partner Brad Altman for 18 years.
• Now, I have no problem with highlighting gay celebrities, as pointing them out is one part of the overall beneficial picture to society that gay people are helpful and effective members of society. However, I think that the position of Grand Marshal of one of the country's largest pride parades is not the best place to highlight celebrity; rather, it would be so much more appropriate to honor substance. Allow me to explain....
• When did George Takei come out? A mere 9 months ago when he was nearly 70 years old and (significantly) long after coming out would have any potential to damage his acting career (which is essentially over). Similarly, the 2004 Chicago Pride Parade Grand Marshal was former NFL football player Esera Tuaolo, who has been lauded for being in the difficult position of being a gay man in the NFL. But again, when did he come out? After his NFL career was over.
  
• Now, please understand I am not critical of either of these men nor the timing of when they decided to come out publicly. I know from personal experience (as do most gay people) the significance and difficulty of that decision to come out to family and friends, and I can only imagine that doing it as a celebrity in the public eye is exponentially harder.
  
• What I question, though, is whether or not the position of Grand Marshal of the Pride Parade (which carries with it a very definite sense of "honoring" the person) is the appropriate place to promote someone who essentially is just a famous face who happens to be gay. If we are going to give someone such a position of honor, shouldn't we do it for the Harvey Milks of our day, those who (perhaps even without celebrity) have put personal success, comfort, and safety on the line to advance the equality for which this parade supposedly was created to promote? Personally, I would love to see someone sitting in the back of that convertible next year for whom I can stand and applaud in honor rather than just cheer as a groupie.
  

3. Annoying Political Assumptions

• First, this comment is not an attack on Tom Tunney, the picture above notwithstanding. It's just the only picture I took on Sunday that had any sort of political connotation, so I needed a picture to stick on here.
• One thing I get irritated quickly with is political hyperbole. "Republicans want to starve school children." "Democrats would rather see humans die than animals." Statements like those are foolish and unhelpful for healthy political debate. And, I get irritated that, simply because I am gay, it is assumed that I agree with every part of a socially-liberal agenda.
  
• Because I am attracted to men and believe that I should have equal protection under the law, where is the logical connection to that and the idea that I would support abortion on demand or want to remove the troops from Iraq or think we should impeach President Bush? I'm not saying whether or not I do or don't support any of these things, by the way, I'm just asking, where is the flow of logic between these assumptions about me? And yet, people used "my" pride parade to promote all these agendas with a ferocity and jumps of illogic that frustrated me.
  
• What is the justification for using the Gay Pride Parade for promoting all these other political agendas? Isn't one of the major points of our movement the diversity of who we are? Isn't that why the rainbow flag was chosen as our symbol? So why is it assumed and accepted that this supposedly incredibly-diverse movement of gay people somehow has a completely homogenous political agenda in every area of social activism?
  

4. Fun T-Shirt Tradition

• OK, so I started this post off with my complaints, but lest I start to sound bitter and jaded, those things were essentially minor irritations, and overall I ended up having a much more fun time at the parade than I expected at the start. Food, alcohol, and friends combine to make even a rainy day seem sunny (and wow, did it actually get beautiful for a while later in the day!)
• During my first attended Pride Parade in 2004, I noticed how many fun, humorous shirts people were wearing to the parade. So, last year I decided to begin a personal tradition of purchasing a funny t-shirt to wear to the parade each year. The picture above is this year's selection, for which I actually had several straight girls ask me where they could find it (lol)!
  
• And, this is last year's shirt (click on photo for a slightly-larger view)....

5. Exhausted, but worth it

• Dinner on Friday, Roscoes, Talking to Ryan who was visiting from Boston, Hydrate, Dancing, Charlies, more dancing, crashing for a few hours tho interrupted by a middle-of-the-night drama phone call that threatened to derail the weekend (unsuccessful), waking up and wandering around the PrideFest street fair, losing my money and embarrassed when I try to buy a drink and don't have the cash, bailed out by my friend, Kim English performing, dinner at Hooters (didn't see that one coming, did you?), back home and then out to Hydrate again where I saw Brian, Chandra, and Ray, laughing because the busboy from Hooters was at Hydrate, meeting Jojo at Circuit, great music, crashing for a few more hours, up early to buy drinks and an umbrella before the parade, brunch at JP's apartment where I met his chihuahua named "Corona", heading back over to Broadway and watching the parade, drinking my first-ever can of beer (seriously, only had one or two sips of beer before in my life), lunch at Moses' apartment after the parade with Jojo, Arnel, Scott, Alvin, Neil, Rafael, Edwin, Thora, and others; wandering around Halsted, staring at the hot stripper guy who was with his friends at Hydrate, coffee with my friend at Intelligentsia then stumbling home for a nap and to rest sore legs, realizing that my brother's parade party at our apartment was still going strong, seeing our former roommate passed out on the futon so drunk that he pissed himself, resting for a bit longer, out to Crobar for one final night of dancing, feeling fat around all the buff shirtless guys at Crobar but not caring because I had a wonderful weekend and realized again how blessed I am to have the friends I have here in Chicago.
• And now, the recovery....... I'm too young to say I'm getting old, but would someone help me back to bed now?

Happy Pride Weekend and Wonderful Summer to All! Don't miss out on a single opportunity to cherish your friends and family this summer. Things will never be how they are now ever again in your life....don't ever regret that you didn't grab life for all it's worth (or that you didn't grab that cute guy staring at you across the bar)!

The Da Vinci Code

I finally went out to see the Da Vinci Code movie last week. I had planned to watch it on opening night, having loved reading the book a year or so ago, but I got stuck in one of the worst traffic jams ever on the way to the theater, and when I got there, the seat that my friends had attempted to save for me was taken. So I had the choice between sitting among strangers on the very front row of the theater and getting a crick in my neck that would last for weeks or just to skip the movie. I chose the latter and went home.

Dan Brown's novel is undoubtedly a completely fun, engrossing story. Like John Grisham's early books, it is a story that will have no earth-changing long-term effects, but it's good entertainment and just a fun read. But, due to its popularity, people tend to have unrealistic expectations of the movie adaptation.

Because almost any book-based movie will suffer from a problem that is almost unavoidable; that is, you can fit far more into a book than you can into a 2-hour movie. So, the movie creators simply must leave some things out or move quickly past events that are unfolded in much greater detail in the book. This should not be viewed as a criticism of the movie-makers; it is simply their dealing with reality.

The Da Vinci Code movie has been criticized by many for this very thing, but I think that Ron Howard and his team did an admirable job keeping the pace of the movie going and staying as true as possible to the storyline. The story itself does not have much in the way of action sequences; in fact, the intrigue of the story is almost entirely the "treasure hunt"-type mystery that the characters work through. So it make sense that much of the movie is dialogue more than action, and much time is spent explaining and setting the context of the mysteries.

In spite of all that, the movie is entertaining, well-crafted, and while not worthy of the big awards or anything, certainly worthy of better reviews than many have given it. My one complaint is that Tom Hanks, who is one of my favorite actors in Hollywood, seemed to be almost detached from his role. Rather than being the high point of the movie like he has been in so many others, he seemed somewhat lifeless and uninterested in what he was doing. Of course, after having done such amazing acting throughout his career, he's bound to have a letdown performance on one or two occasions, so it's forgivable.

And What is Your Favorite Season?

Was feeling creative tonight....

Contraband

So, even though Italy was kind enough to do their best to help out the US Soccer team by defeating the Czech Republic today 2-0 (necessary to ensure the US advance into the round of 16), the US went down in humiliating defeat in their final World Cup 2006 game, bested and eliminated from the tournament by 30th-seed Ghana 2-1 (albeit on a dubiously-called penalty kick). And, to add insult to injury, the stupid ESPN cameras zoomed in so we could only see Brian McBride's face rather than his whole body during the shirt exchange at the end of the game. So, all the way around it was a bad day for US soccer.

Watching the game did bring back some memories for me personally, though, as I had the opportunity to spend a week in Ghana during my first trip to Africa in 1996. In fact, my flight was on Ghana Airways non-stop from New York City to Accra, Ghana, making that the first African country I ever visited. It was obvious from television coverage today, though, that few people know much about Ghana, even though it is a beautiful country with wonderful people.


At the conclusion of my week in Ghana (which was spent primarily in region between Lake Volta and the country of Togo, we drove to the border of Ghana and Togo to spend a week in the village of Kpalime, Togo. At the border, we had the first of several border-crossing experiences I would go through in Africa--always an interesting process.

On that trip, which was "back in the day" before iPods, I had a fairly good-sized case with me in which I kept my CDs and Discman to listen to on our trips through the bush (wasn't quite ready to go all African at that point, obviously). Well, as the border guard was looking through my bags, he pulled out the CD case and asked me what was in it. Cheerfully, I answered "CD's."

Immediately, the guard's eyes got big, and he called over his commanding officer and several others who stood around me warily. They opened the case, and of course saw the CDs just as I had said. However, they still did not seem to know exactly what they were, and they seemed awfully tense. Perhaps they didn't like my musical selections? Trying to be helpful, I demonstrated to the officer by removing one of the CDs, putting it in my discman, and allowing him to listen. He was fascinated by the device, and let me go after searching the case thoroughly.

As we drove away, I mentioned to my host that they had been very tense when I told them I was taking CD's with me. Immediately the host laughed heartily and reminded me that the currency of Ghana is "Cedis" (pronounced just like I was saying). So, the border patrols thought I was smuggling currency out of the country, a significant crime! Next to telling my 55-year-old French professor that I was in love with her when I was attempting to say I enjoyed ice cream, that was certainly my most amusing language confusion experience.

Cars

Whenever a new Pixar movie comes out, I feel like I'm torn between two decisions. On the one hand, I am excited and eager to see what I know will be a great movie. But on the other hand, nothing makes this Baptist-raised boy believe in the Catholic concept of purgatory more than sitting in a cartoon movie with a million children on opening weekend. So, to avoid any unnecessary self-flagellation (the bad kind, of course), I waited until this past Sunday, a full week after opening weekend, to see the movie Cars.

Perhaps Pixar has finally put to rest the idea that eventually they will put out a bad movie, because Cars rises to the level of any other Pixar movie and goes beyond most of them. In my book, only Finding Nemo would be more highly recommended, and that simply because I can't imagine someone topping Ellen's performance as Dory in that movie. I think that, if Pixar ever does create a flop, people won't quite know how to react.

Cars is, as with most of Pixar's movies, a simple, tried-and-true, formulaic storyline that is given new life with breathtaking animation, memorable characters, and shamelessly-fun humor. When you are watching it, you have to constantly pay attention to signs and actions in the background, or you will miss one of the most punny movies to come along in a long time. I love how the writers and animators put so many little jokes on the screen at once that they know it will be impossible for the audience to catch them all in a single viewing (thus creating an instant DVD customer base, since we will all want to watch some of those scenes in slow-motion now).

The animation is, in a word, stunning. Every time Pixar comes out with a new movie, they raise the bar for everyone else. I sat there the entire movie just in awe of the fact that this was all done with computers (while I think it's nifty that I can add hyperlinks to my blog posts).

And, as with all Pixar movies, make sure you stick around for the credits. All the way through the credits and to the final little "tag" scene, you will be entertained. The credits on this movie are particularly impressive, as they brought back an impressive number of the original voices from previous Pixar movies for little cameo lines in a very clever way.

I highly recommend the movie, and I particularly recommend seeing it while it is in the theaters, so you can soak in the full force of the unbelievable artistry and animation. I will be happy to join anyone for a second viewing!

A Gay Man's Introduction to the World Cup

Throughout this month of June, people all over the globe will proudly wave colorful flags, some men will wear makeup on their faces while others will publicly remove their shirts and exchange them with one another, spontaneous parades will erupt, and politicians will make public appearances to show their support for a key constituency. No, I'm not talking about Pride Month. Rather, from June 9 to July 9, the most-watched athletic event in the world is being held in Germany--the World Cup Soccer Finals (surpassing even the Olympics in television viewers).

Now, if the traffic in the comments section of my previous two soccer-related posts is any indication, there is not a great deal of interest in the World Cup among the gay community. But I get excited if I get a comment or two on just about any post, so that's not a good thermometer. So, I browsed through Alan's Adventure's list of Chicago Gay Bloggers to see if anyone has posted anything about the World Cup Tournament. And, unless you count a video clip whose purpose is just to see a soccer player's penis (admittedly entertaining, I'm not knocking it), I found only one post that referenced the World Cup in the entire Gay Blogger list (kudos to Chicagosexbox...those are some hot pictures!). Consequently, I think it is a safe determination that gay interest in the World Cup Tournament is about on par with their interest in a Donald Rumsfeld press conference.

Perhaps it is that I feel ostracized by my fellow sports-ignoring gay compatriots for this single act of treason I commit against the gay-sports-hater-code. Perhaps I am used to reveling in the company of friends who, along with me, mask our jealousy of straight guys' athletic abilities by feigning disinterest in anything sports-related while secretly going online to find shirtless pics of Freddie Ljungberg (yes, he's a soccer player, not just a Calvin Klein model). Perhaps I find comfort and familiarity in knowing that any discussion we have about wood, balls, and scoring has nothing to do with getting hot and sweaty on an athletic field.....ok, well, perhaps sometimes it does, let me rephrase....I find comfort knowing that our discussions are not related to a group of men divided into sections of those who are at the top of the field, those who are in the middle with versatile roles, and those back at the bottom of the field....um, wait, that analogy doesn't work either....never mind....

Whatever the reason for this compulsion I feel, I have decided it is time for the gay world to recognize that we should offer an exemption to the World Cup Tournament in our otherwise iron-clad anti-sports rule book. (Keep in mind of course that, when I mention that rule book, I am functioning within a literary realm in which stereotype is reality, for it appears the rumors are true that some gay men have forsaken their shallow yet imbedded birthright of sports hatred to actually participate in sports!) So, for your information, enlightenment, entertainment, and arousal, I give to you my labor of love, A Gay Man's Introduction to the World Cup Tournament.

This presentation is divided into three sections: (1) Justification, (2) Overview, and (3) Predictions.

JUSTIFICATION

On what basis do I, a committed defender of gay prejudice against organized athletics, believe I am justified in promoting the World Cup Tournament and participating in watching its events? At the risk of overwhelming you with my impenetrable logic, allow me to share several reasons that quickly come to mind:

• The Miss World Cup Pageant - What other major sporting event has the foresight to hold a beauty pageant in coordination with its tournament? Can you imagine a Miss NBA Finals? I don't think so. This year's pageant was won by the lovely Miss Togo, and there are rumors afoot of a World Cup's Next Top Model (or WCNTM) TV show in the works in time for World Cup 2010.
• The After-Match Shirt Exchange - In international play, it is traditional at the end of a game for players to remove their shirts and exchange jerseys with their counterparts on the opposing team, followed by sex in the shower room. Well, perhaps that last part is just a fantasy of mine, but the shirt removal causes the game to be at least on par with the credits at the end of a Pixar movie. Sure, you may not actually be interested in the credits themselves, but you will sit through the credits because you know there's something worth waiting for when they are over.
• David Beckham, Lukas Podolski, Milan Baros, David James (drool), Christiano Ronaldo, Luis Figo, Javier Saviola, and so many others.....

OVERVIEW

The qualifying rounds of the World Cup tournament are complex, lengthy, sometimes political, and often confusing to follow. Ultimately, however, 32 teams from around the world make it to the final tournament, which is what is going on this month. The structure of the tournament itself is also confusing, as the 32 teams are initially divided into 8 groups of 4 teams. The top eight teams in the November 2005 FIFA World Rankings are each are assigned to different groups, while the remaining teams are assigned by random draw. Hang on.....don't fade away here, am I losing your interest? Quick, look at this picture!....ok, all better? Let's continue....However, no group can have more than 2 European teams or more than one team of any other confederation. Each team plays a game against each of the other teams in their group, earning 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw, and 0 points for a loss. The top 2 teams in each group advance to the knockout stage, where each of those 16 teams advances to the next round only by winning each game, until the ultimate champion is declared.

That whole process takes a full month to complete, with the championship game being played in Berlin on July 9. This means that there will be plenty of down-time for athletes and fans, but fortunately Germany has taken the initiative to make sure they will have plenty to keep them busy along the way.

PREDICTIONS

As I type this, we are a week into the tournament. As expected, Germany and England are doing well, as is Brazil, though Brazil has only played one game thus far. All 3 teams are excellent, but I have to predict that England will win the tournament, simply because they have both David Beckham and David James, so they have a slight edge since they will be able to distract any gay players on their opponent's teams (David James, by the way, has been very active in HIV/AIDS-related causes and has even established The David James Foundation which works to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS in countries in Sub-Saharan Africa). I would love to see Portugal advance far so that we can see as much of Ronaldo as possible (and I do mean that in every sense of the phrase), and thus far they are holding their own with a 1-0 win over Angola.

Upcoming games to watch:

• Tomorrow, Friday, June 15: Argentina vs. Serbia/Montenegro - Battle of the hot forwards. Argentina's Javier Saviola and Serbia/Montenegro's Mateja Kezman are two of the most beautiful men in the World Cup tournament. Argentina is the heavy favorite to win the game, but with Kezman's looks, Argentina may wish to forfeit simply out of respect.
• Saturday, June 16: USA vs. Italy - Much talk has circulated as to the reasons for the US team's humiliating 3-o opening game loss to the Czech Republic (a country with a population nearly 30 times less than the US). But for all the reasons given, little attention has been paid to the subtly-important "hotness factor" in soccer. And sadly, the US team this tournament is really about as exciting as Janet Jackson's exposed breast was arousing. Add to that the fact that the Czech Republic has Milan Baros, and I could have told you it would be a blowout before the game ever started. After all the hype about this being the US team's "breakout year" where they were going to surprise everyone, their opening game letdown was something like when you meet that hot guy from online in person for the first time only to find out that his pictures were taken about 8 years and 40 pounds ago. You might still end up as friends, but the magic is gone. So, for Saturday's match, I am already scared about a repeat defeat, but when you factor in that Italy has the duo of Alessandro Del Piero and Gianluca Zambrotta, Saturday afternoon might better be spent watching joggers at Belmont Harbor.
• Saturday, June 16: Portugal vs. Iran - Can you imagine being a gay guy on Iran's soccer team on Saturday? You're forced to watch Ronaldo wearing those shorts and getting all hot and sweaty and knowing he will inevitably remove his shirt at the end of the game; however, you also know that if anyone catches you staring, you'll probably be beheaded when you get back to Iran. Although if Ronaldo approached me in the locker room after a game, I'd probably be willing to risk decapitation.
• Wednesday, June 20: England vs. Sweden - In their final group stage game, England looks to advance undefeated into the knockout stage. There is a rumor that the chief voodoo priest of the country of Togo (whose team is making their first-ever World Cup finals appearance) has predicted that, if England wins the World Cup, David Beckham and David James will get it on at center field. Of course, that same priest also predicted that 32nd-seed Togo would defeat 6th-seed France on June 23 and advance to the knockout stage, which probably has about the same chance of happening.
  

So there you have it. Yes, it's true, there are other reasons that I enjoy watching soccer besides those I have listed here (banal things like a love of the game itself and enjoyment of analyzing strategy....silly things like that). But I figured that I would just take baby steps in this introduction. Trying to take that which is already known and comfortable and build a bridge of familiarity to that which is not. I feel that, if I have expanded even one guy's collection of shirtless athletes, I have made a worthwhile contribution.

**Addendum - While I was working on this post, I noticed a new, awesome post on Alan's Adventure that references the World Cup. Worth looking at.

Taylor Hicks Used to be a Hottie!

A friend of mine sent me this (younger) picture of American Idol winner Taylor Hicks. I'm not much of a Taylor Hicks fan, but I sure would have been more supportive if he still looked like that!

Better-Looking Togo Can't Quite Hold Lead Against South Korea

After the US team got spanked yesterday by the Czech Republic in the most embarrassing fashion (US Population: 298.2 million, Czech Republic population: 10.2 million, World Cup game score yesterday: Czech Republic 3-0 USA), I at least had the hope that my Togo team would hold their own against South Korea, especially since South Korea has been so disappointing in developing a good-looking squad. And I was not disappointed with Togo, even though the final score was not in my favor.

Togo is in a very strong group with 1998 World Cup champions France, Switzerland, and today's opponent, surprise 2002 World Cup semifinalists South Korea. So Togo, in their first-ever World Cup tournament game, was not expected to be much of a factor. But then, in the 31st minute of the game this morning (8 a.m. Chicago time), Togo forward Mohamed Kader scored a beautiful goal giving Togo an unexpected lead over South Korea, a lead they held through the remainder of the first half of play.

Unfortunately, in the second half, Togo's captain Jean-Paul Abalo received a second yellow card (and thus ejection from the game) after a tackle in the box, leaving the Togolese one man down. But worse, the South Koreans got a free kick which they successfully placed in the goal, tying the game. Then, with about 18 minutes left in the game, South Korea's Ahn Jung-Hwan scored, earning a 2-1 edge that held to the end.

Now, with the subsequent draw in the game that ended scoreless between France and Switzerland a short time ago, Togo actually still has a shot at advancing out of the group round if they could pull of a surprise upset against either of those teams. Unlikely, perhaps; possible, absolutely. Either way, they are a fun team to watch, and games like today's (along with the pictures at the end of the games when the players remove their shirts to trade jerseys with their opponents) are why I, who am as uninterested in most sports as anyone you will meet, love watching World Cup soccer.

World Cup Begins (with Togo!)

In nearly every circumstance, I fit one gay stereotype perfectly, and that is I have no knowledge of sports. I did not watch a single game of the White Sox in the World Series. I could not tell you how the Bulls or Bears did last season. And the only reason I have the Cubs schedule in my calendar is so that I know when to avoid driving on Addison Street.

But there is one sport that I enjoy watching quite a bit, and it is soccer (a.k.a "football" to the rest of the world), the runaway most-popular sport on the planet, though you would not know that from US press coverage. My interest in soccer goes back to high school when, although I had no athletic ability whatsoever, I still needed to find an excuse to spend more time in the men's locker room, so I volunteered to be the statistician for my high school soccer team. I did that for three years in high school and then two years in college as well. Since I had to stay near the coach during the game to keep him apprised of various records, my coaches (college in particular) would often talk to me and teach me about the strategy of the game, giving me an understanding of soccer that I have of no other sport.

Then, while I lived in Europe for two years, I was immersed in a sports culture unlike anything in America. Europeans live, breathe, and die by soccer. The number and complexity of teams and organizations and tournaments is frankly hard to get a handle on, but any European worth his salt can recite the rosters, records, and standings of his team. I learned very early on to cheer for our local Belgium team Anderlecht. I also grew to cheer for Real Madrid and Arsenal and to despise Manchester United and everything it stands for.....though I have had a few people tell me I resemble David Beckham (I don't see it, he's way hotter than me), which used to bother me since he played for United but it's ok now since he moved to Real Madrid.

Africa is just as enthusiastic as Europe, if not more so. When I lived in Togo, there was an all-night party in the streets after Togo defeated heavily-favored Ghana in a qualifying match for the 1998 World Cup. Few people there have televisions, so those that did brought them out or set them in windows, and I would see hundreds of people crowding around this tiny TV watching the game as if it were a matter of life-and-death. When, this year, Togo qualified for the World Cup finals for the first time ever, the president declared a national holiday.

So, the World Cup 2006 tournament begins tomorrow in Germany, and Togo is there! They won 4-0 in their final warm-up game Tuesday, and they are excited to face South Korea in their first tournament game next Tuesday at 3:00 p.m. local time (8:00 a.m. Chicago time, shows on ESPN2, wanna join me to watch?). In the lists I have read of potential upsets for the tournament, one of the often-mentioned games to watch is Togo vs. South Korea. If underdog Togo wins, you will be able to hear Africa shouting from here.

I have been amused today at how many people have been talking about Togo. Articles in The San Francisco Chronicle (I e-mailed the author and he wrote me back a nice response), The Tampa Tribune, and elsewhere talk about the joy of this tiny African nation at their team's participation in the tournament. As someone who loves Togo, it's a lot of fun to see.

Well, I'm not a soccer fanatic or even really keep up with the teams I used to watch regularly in Europe (by the way, Togo's star player Emmanuel Adebayor plays for one of my favorite European club teams, Arsenal), but World Cup soccer is a lot of fun, and it's easy to get caught up in the energy. I'm looking forward to catching some games over the next month.

The Seven Stooges

The Three Stooges is still among the funniest shows ever produced in the history of moving pictures. But did you realize that there were actually 7 different people to play the roles of the stooges at one point or another in the act's evolution?

As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I have a rather unusual hobby of visiting the gravesites of notable people. Among the categories I look for is famous actors and actresses who have passed on. But, when I was doing research on the gravesites of the Three Stooges, I kept running across different names that totaled a lot more than three. Finally tonight, I spent a productive two hours doing research on this mystery, so now, as a public service, I offer you the explanation of the Stooges.

In 1922, brothers Moe Howard and Shemp Howard and their friend Ted Healy created a vaudeville show that, little-known to them at the time, would become internationally famous in a few years' time.

In 1930, The Three Stooges had their movie debut with the release of Soup to Nuts. In that film, Moe and Shemp appeared (Shemp playing the role of "Curly"), but Ted Healy was replaced by the somber-faced Larry Fine, who, along with Moe, would remain in his role for the next 40 years until the end of the act in 1970.

However, while Larry and Moe achieved an impressively-stable run by the same actors, Curly wasn't so lucky. In 1932, Shemp decided to pursue his own acting career, so he was replaced by his brother Jerome Howard.

Jerome is the one who gave Curly many of the unique characteristics for which that character is remembered today. In order to provide a contrast to the look of Larry and Moe, he shaved his head, thus becoming the first bald Curly. Also, Jerome had a horrible time remembering his lines, so he would fill in the gaps in his memory with a "woo-woo-woo-woo" sound, which was humorous in itself, caught on, and now is forever-associated with Curly and the Stooges shows.

Sadly, in 1946, Jerome suffered a stroke while on the set filming their 97th show. This ended Jerome's acting career, although he gained much of his health back, enough so that he remarried and had a daughter. But he had several more strokes and ended up dying six years later in 1952.

When Jerome had his stroke in 1946, brother Shemp agreed to return to the role of Curly. From 1946 to 1955, he appeared in 73 Stooges movies. But then, while riding in a car in 1955, Shemp suffered a heart attack which killed him, once again leaving the role of Curly vacant.

At this point, Joe Besser was selected to become the third person to play the role of Curly. In 1956 he appeared in 16 episodes, but then Columbia Pictures canceled The Three Stooges at the end of that year.

It was thought that the impressive run of over 200 movies (a record) was over at that point, but in 1958, the movies were released to an amazing new innovation called television, and there was a resurgence in the group's popularity, giving rise to a demand for new movies.

At the time, Joe Besser's wife was ill, so he was unable to return, so once again a new Curly had to be found, and Joe DeRita was the man to fill the role. As the last of the Curlys, he appeared in the final six films produced during the 1960's.

In 1970, Larry Fine had a stroke, and that ended The Three Stooges for good.

Over the Hedge

Sometimes it's nice to see a movie that is just plain, simple fun. Over the Hedge is exactly that. From start to finish, although you won't necessarily be rolling in the aisles laughing, you will find yourself smiling and chuckling, just having a good time. It's a movie that you can recommend unreservedly to your grandmother but still enjoy yourself as a fun diversion.

One particular point I would highlight about the movie is the superb voice cast. With the advent of so many computer-animated movies in recent years, it has been fun to see how movie-makers have found voice actors who fit the animated characters so perfectly. Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Wanda Sykes, and Allison Janney (a favorite of mine from The West Wing) are great. But two of them stand out in particular. I'm a fan of William Shatner, simply because he doesn't take himself seriously. His portrayal of Ozzie the Possum is over-the-top and hilarious. But the show-stealer without question is Steve Carell and his voicing of Hammy the Squirrel ("will you help me find my nuts?"). Anything Steve Carell does is hilarious, and Hammy is just perfect in this movie.

So, for a great fun 90-minute laugh, see Over the Hedge. Oh, and stick around through the credits. The credits themselves are fun, and there's a cute tag scene at the very end.