Choosing Our Battles Wisely

Recently, an anonymous commenter (ah, the joys of anonymity....headstrong statements with no personal consequence) criticized my promotion of the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign a couple months ago.

This commenter said:

You might want to note that the Red Campaign, while a great idea, is quite sexist in the distribution of its funds. As stated on the website: the donations go to women and children. Therefore, presumably, gay men will not in any way benefit from the work. Considering how indiscriminate the disease, it is unfortunate that money must be distributed in a discriminatory manner.

Since this comment was just made recently, it is unlikely that my response will be noticed by too many people, but Mr. or Ms. Anonymous kinda provoked my ire a bit, so I wanted to include my thoughts on a separate post here for your consideration. With slight modification, this is what I said in my response:

I think that perhaps you are being unnecessarily harsh on the campaign. The fact that they are raising funds only for women and children is not ipso facto sexist. The thrust of this particular fundraising drive is to raise money to provide the medicine that will keep a mother from passing HIV on to her unborn child, a goal that all of us would applaud. Just because this particular organization does not focus on every single person infected with HIV/AIDS is simply not sexist.

To focus on addressing one part of a complex problem in no way negates or lessens the work of others addressing a different part.It is no different than the Children's Memorial Hospital here in my hometown of Chicago. Is it sexist (or "ageist") when someone raises funds for the cancer unit of that hospital? After all, cancer indiscriminately affects adults as well as children. In fact, probably adults are even more at risk than children in many cases. So should those raising funds for that unit be criticized and rejected? Certainly not! The focus on fighting a problem in one area in no way negates or lessens the work of others fighting it in another area. Both are legitimate, both are essential, and both should receive support rather than criticism for their efforts.

Not only is it not sexist for the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign to operate as they do, it also is very likely more practical and efficient than a less-focused effort, for it gives very specific guidance and direction to those using the funding. Rather than arbitrary decisions concerning fund distribution, those involved know exactly what the money is to be used for and can simply focus on getting the medicine out as quickly as possible.

Additionally, if you look into Bono's efforts in Africa, you will find that the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign is only one aspect of his involvement with the needs of that continent. He has been instrumental in addressing many issues related to poverty and HIV/AIDS, and nobody who claims he is sexist in his efforts is even remotely fair to him.

And finally, it is a very selfish thing to assume that gay men will not benefit from the work of (PRODUCT)^RED. Do gay men not have nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, whose lives could be saved through the medicine provided by this campaign? Are we not members of a society and world community in which each of us is affected by the well-being, health, and prosperity of others? Are we gay men so selfish that we have to get the medicine for ourselves before we can be excited and enthusiastic about lives being saved? I certainly hope not!

And I hope that each of us will be more determined today and every day of our lives to figure out where the real enemies are and stop shooting at our friends.

(Note: For more information on (PRODUCT)^RED, click on the logo on the top portion of this blog's right-screen sidebar).

Re-post: A Desire to Travel

Today, we in America celebrate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. So many blogs today are writing eloquently about the importance of this day, and I could not hope to add to what has been said in any significant way. So I thought a good way to note the day is to rerun a post I wrote in May 2006 concerning some of the important formative events of my life in regard to understanding prejudice that can so easily creep into our thinking without our even realizing it. And I hope that I can, in whatever small ways from day to day, be a part of the solution rather than the problem: by cultivating respect and dignity for all people, whether they are close and familiar to me or distant and perplexing; by recognizing that different is not inferior, but that beauty is found in all cultures and peoples; and by humbly realizing that I can learn from every person I meet if I will take the time to look past the shallowness of externals, cross the line of cultural discomfort, and celebrate rather than denigrate those things which make each of us unique.

From May 24, 2006:

Tonight I got my photos taken for my new passport. My first passport expires on June 4. It's hard to believe that just 10 years ago I was preparing for my first trip ever out of the country, but now I have traveled extensively through nearly 20 countries on 3 continents. That even increased my desire to travel in my own country, and I have been to 43 of the US States, 40 of those within the past 10 years.

I hope I can cultivate respect and dignity for all people, recognize that different is not inferior, and realize that I can learn from every person by looking past externals, crossing the line of cultural discomfort, and celebrating those things which make each of us unique.If you were to ask me what have been the most significant forces in my life in a positive sense to make me who I am today, there are a couple things that would quickly come to mind. First would be parents and a grandmother who showed me by example what it means to learn and change and not assume I know everything, to live by a strong moral code of unselfishness and giving to others, to not be afraid to admit I am wrong, and who, in spite of differences and disagreements (sometimes very sharp) have always loved me unfailingly. But outside of the direct influence of my family, perhaps no other force in my life has so radically affected my outlook on life than my international traveling.

For travel is not just about getting the snapshot from the top of the Eiffel Tower (spent weeks in Paris and never did that....the Arc de Triomphe view is far better). It's not about bringing back t-shirts and key chains and making family members sit through hours of slides of your trip to Thailand on New Year's Even when they would rather be just about anywhere else besides listening to you drone on and on about the....oh, sorry, I think some bitterness against my uncle just came out there.

Traveling internationally will give you a perspective on life and culture and politics and belonging that you cannot get any other way, I am convinced. This is something that starts from the moment you leave the airport of your home. There's a big difference from a Los Angeles-Chicago flight than a Chicago-Accra, Ghana flight. It took me 24 hours of travel with a layover in Europe to get to Africa, and suddenly, I started to comprehend how big the planet is and how small my little world had been to that point.

I saw my thinking transform from that scourge of Midwestern Mentality and American superiority to understanding how much I could learn from other cultures and peoples. I began to understand the subtle undercurrent of prejudice that ran through my beliefs and opinions. During the six months I lived in Africa (in the country of Togo), I experienced something that very few American-born white guys have the privilege of experiencing, and that is to get a glimpse of what it is like truly to live as a minority. For there were times in Africa when I would go days without seeing another person with white skin. Admittedly, the Togolese people are very kind and welcoming to the "yovos" (white-skinned people), but just the feeling of being on the "outside" has never left me. And I think (and hope) it has helped me to be more sensitive and understanding since I have been back in the States.

One of the coolest things I have noticed which shows me that perhaps something fundamental changed in my mind from traveling is this: 10 years ago, without exception, every one of my close friends was a white American of western-European descent. Today, however, through no conscious choice or intention to make it this way, I have been blessed to have one of the most international group of friends of anyone I know. And stop chuckling, they are not all from Asia!

So, I am thankful for several things tonight. First, I am thankful for the privilege I have had to travel--simply for the amazing places I have seen and things I have experienced...

• from the historic grandeur of the Coliseum in Rome
  
• to the happily-endured heartburn from the little greasy fajita stand in Mexico
  
• to the silent awe at the breathtaking Cliffs of Moher in Ireland (where I did the most insane thing I have ever done in my entire life)
  
• to the ingenuity, beauty, and hospitality shown to us at the mud castles of the Tam Berma people in Togo.
  

Second, I am thankful for the way traveling has changed my perspective on the world, trusting it has made me into a better person. And finally, I'm so thankful that it's time for me to get a new passport so I can get rid of that picture with those huge glasses. What was I thinking?

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day, and many others have spoken or will speak of it far more eloquently than I ever could. I do think it is wonderful that, each year, the tragedy that this disease has caused worldwide becomes more and more understood and responded to. Slowly, we see foolish assumptions and myths about HIV/AIDS fading away, as politicians, physicians, and the general public are realizing the importance of addressing the issue with compassion and honesty. I love how celebrities like Bono are choosing to leverage their popularity to accomplish great things in this realm. And a day like today is excellent for helping to increase public awareness, education, and compassion for those who live with HIV/AIDS.

But I also think today is important for a reason that those of us in the gay community are probably aware of more than most; that is, for those of us who are HIV-negative to remind our friends and family members who are living with HIV/AIDS of our love and support and total acceptance of them. I have known many people in my life with HIV/AIDS, having lived in West Africa where it was very prevalent, as well as knowing numerous HIV-positive friends and acquaintances here in the States. But it hit home more directly than ever this year, when within three months of each other, two people very close to me tested positive. Suddenly, it wasn't just acquaintances that I would see occasionally at a club or party; it was people who I would interact with regularly, people who I loved and looked to for help when I faced difficulties in life.



And, as my loved ones have progressed on their journies through this new challenge, I have been so happy to see them both moving from a very low place to paths of hope and happiness--anticipation of lives that will be full and satisfying, perhaps even more so than before, since they have faced a challenge that gives them an appreciation for life and health and love. And, I think that is a wonderful message for World AIDS Day... HIV/AIDS does not have the power to crush the human spirit or to fracture hope or to restrain love. It cannot suffocate laughter or silence creativity or shatter true friendship or stifle compassion.



Have you ever had a really bad day? One in which you just feel like your are overwhlemed by your circumstances? Where you are on the verge of tears or just want to hit a wall or scream into your pillow? But then, a friend or loved one comes into the room and, with a clever comment or well-timed joke totally diffuses the tension. I don't mean a careless joke that indicates your problems are not real nor important. But a gentle humor that communicates they love you and that they know you are going to make it through this trial. When this happens, at first you don't want to laugh, or even smile, because in a perverse way, we sometimes jealously hold on to anger or frustration. But when the laughter overcomes us, and we are forced to release the anger (since anger will not co-exist with laughter), we physically and emotionally feel that knot in our stomach begin to loosen and the load on our heart to lighten. It doesn't eliminate the problems we are facing, but it gives us the perspective to know we can make it through the valleys in life because we are loved.

Today's Holidays:

• World AIDS Day
  
• Day Without Art Day
• Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day (I don't know what it is, either)
  

(PRODUCT)RED™

Ever since I heard about the ONE Campaign several years ago (a wonderful cause, click above to read about it), I have grown in my admiration of U2 rock star Bono, who is the driving force behind that effort. At first, as my cynical side kicked in, I viewed him with some level of skepticism, thinking he was one of these celebrities who thought more of himself than he ought. But an interview I heard him give once caught my attention, when I heard him say the following (I'm paraphrasing, but this is pretty close):

"Celebrity is a funny thing. It completely up-ends the natural order of things. Why should an actor or a singer be more honored than a mother or a fireman? But, the reality is that I have this thing called celebrity, and it is a currency. I just choose to use my currency on something that will make a difference."

In addition to a good motive, Bono does something that many do not, and that is he strategizes. Rather than just throwing money at something to appease his conscience and win accolades, he meets with and plans with leading thinkers and strategists concerning how to fight against global poverty and AIDS in Africa. That is how the One Campaign started, and that has been successful in bringing together people as far from each other as George Clooney and Pat Robertson to fight for something that goes so far beyond their individual differences.

And it is this strategizing that led to the recent launch of (PRODUCT)^RED, a powerful, sustainable effort to raise money to provide anti-retroviral medicine to those suffering from AIDS in Africa. Rather than my going into great detail here, visit their website (www.joinred.com), particularly noting the Manifesto, which explains the mission statement of the organization. And see the Global Fund link for more information about how the money is used. They also maintain an excellent blog telling about the efforts and activities around the world.

Now, as I shift to the reason you are likely at my blog in the first place, let me just note that (PRODUCT)^RED clearly knows the gay community is a key demographic to target, because the cause is something we are more aware about than the average person and because we love to shop! So, they have found various celebrities to pose for ads for the campaign, including the handsome Don Cheadle (I want to see the rest of this picture series!) and hot speed-skating champion Apolo Ohno (speechless...).





Also, as you are looking around to see how you can help fight for the needs of those in Africa, you can still enjoy looking at the Gap models showing off their clothing line...



Oh, and this has absolutely nothing to do with the red stuff, but I love this picture of Apolo Ohno....



So check out the (PRODUCT)^RED campaign. I know there are tons of "causes" clamoring for our attention, and I know many of them are worthwhile. But perhaps one or two of you who read this might be motivated to be involved in this good effort. I lived in Africa for a while, so I have seen the devastation this disease causes firsthand. And Bono has done something few before him have even come close to accomplishing in raising the world's awareness of the plight of people who (in his words), due to "an accident of longitude and latitude" are dying in silence and will continue to do so unless those of us living much more privileged lives are willing to get off our butts and do something about it.



















































Today's Holidays:

• World Development Information Day

Contraband

So, even though Italy was kind enough to do their best to help out the US Soccer team by defeating the Czech Republic today 2-0 (necessary to ensure the US advance into the round of 16), the US went down in humiliating defeat in their final World Cup 2006 game, bested and eliminated from the tournament by 30th-seed Ghana 2-1 (albeit on a dubiously-called penalty kick). And, to add insult to injury, the stupid ESPN cameras zoomed in so we could only see Brian McBride's face rather than his whole body during the shirt exchange at the end of the game. So, all the way around it was a bad day for US soccer.

Watching the game did bring back some memories for me personally, though, as I had the opportunity to spend a week in Ghana during my first trip to Africa in 1996. In fact, my flight was on Ghana Airways non-stop from New York City to Accra, Ghana, making that the first African country I ever visited. It was obvious from television coverage today, though, that few people know much about Ghana, even though it is a beautiful country with wonderful people.


At the conclusion of my week in Ghana (which was spent primarily in region between Lake Volta and the country of Togo, we drove to the border of Ghana and Togo to spend a week in the village of Kpalime, Togo. At the border, we had the first of several border-crossing experiences I would go through in Africa--always an interesting process.

On that trip, which was "back in the day" before iPods, I had a fairly good-sized case with me in which I kept my CDs and Discman to listen to on our trips through the bush (wasn't quite ready to go all African at that point, obviously). Well, as the border guard was looking through my bags, he pulled out the CD case and asked me what was in it. Cheerfully, I answered "CD's."

Immediately, the guard's eyes got big, and he called over his commanding officer and several others who stood around me warily. They opened the case, and of course saw the CDs just as I had said. However, they still did not seem to know exactly what they were, and they seemed awfully tense. Perhaps they didn't like my musical selections? Trying to be helpful, I demonstrated to the officer by removing one of the CDs, putting it in my discman, and allowing him to listen. He was fascinated by the device, and let me go after searching the case thoroughly.

As we drove away, I mentioned to my host that they had been very tense when I told them I was taking CD's with me. Immediately the host laughed heartily and reminded me that the currency of Ghana is "Cedis" (pronounced just like I was saying). So, the border patrols thought I was smuggling currency out of the country, a significant crime! Next to telling my 55-year-old French professor that I was in love with her when I was attempting to say I enjoyed ice cream, that was certainly my most amusing language confusion experience.

Better-Looking Togo Can't Quite Hold Lead Against South Korea

After the US team got spanked yesterday by the Czech Republic in the most embarrassing fashion (US Population: 298.2 million, Czech Republic population: 10.2 million, World Cup game score yesterday: Czech Republic 3-0 USA), I at least had the hope that my Togo team would hold their own against South Korea, especially since South Korea has been so disappointing in developing a good-looking squad. And I was not disappointed with Togo, even though the final score was not in my favor.

Togo is in a very strong group with 1998 World Cup champions France, Switzerland, and today's opponent, surprise 2002 World Cup semifinalists South Korea. So Togo, in their first-ever World Cup tournament game, was not expected to be much of a factor. But then, in the 31st minute of the game this morning (8 a.m. Chicago time), Togo forward Mohamed Kader scored a beautiful goal giving Togo an unexpected lead over South Korea, a lead they held through the remainder of the first half of play.

Unfortunately, in the second half, Togo's captain Jean-Paul Abalo received a second yellow card (and thus ejection from the game) after a tackle in the box, leaving the Togolese one man down. But worse, the South Koreans got a free kick which they successfully placed in the goal, tying the game. Then, with about 18 minutes left in the game, South Korea's Ahn Jung-Hwan scored, earning a 2-1 edge that held to the end.

Now, with the subsequent draw in the game that ended scoreless between France and Switzerland a short time ago, Togo actually still has a shot at advancing out of the group round if they could pull of a surprise upset against either of those teams. Unlikely, perhaps; possible, absolutely. Either way, they are a fun team to watch, and games like today's (along with the pictures at the end of the games when the players remove their shirts to trade jerseys with their opponents) are why I, who am as uninterested in most sports as anyone you will meet, love watching World Cup soccer.

World Cup Begins (with Togo!)

In nearly every circumstance, I fit one gay stereotype perfectly, and that is I have no knowledge of sports. I did not watch a single game of the White Sox in the World Series. I could not tell you how the Bulls or Bears did last season. And the only reason I have the Cubs schedule in my calendar is so that I know when to avoid driving on Addison Street.

But there is one sport that I enjoy watching quite a bit, and it is soccer (a.k.a "football" to the rest of the world), the runaway most-popular sport on the planet, though you would not know that from US press coverage. My interest in soccer goes back to high school when, although I had no athletic ability whatsoever, I still needed to find an excuse to spend more time in the men's locker room, so I volunteered to be the statistician for my high school soccer team. I did that for three years in high school and then two years in college as well. Since I had to stay near the coach during the game to keep him apprised of various records, my coaches (college in particular) would often talk to me and teach me about the strategy of the game, giving me an understanding of soccer that I have of no other sport.

Then, while I lived in Europe for two years, I was immersed in a sports culture unlike anything in America. Europeans live, breathe, and die by soccer. The number and complexity of teams and organizations and tournaments is frankly hard to get a handle on, but any European worth his salt can recite the rosters, records, and standings of his team. I learned very early on to cheer for our local Belgium team Anderlecht. I also grew to cheer for Real Madrid and Arsenal and to despise Manchester United and everything it stands for.....though I have had a few people tell me I resemble David Beckham (I don't see it, he's way hotter than me), which used to bother me since he played for United but it's ok now since he moved to Real Madrid.

Africa is just as enthusiastic as Europe, if not more so. When I lived in Togo, there was an all-night party in the streets after Togo defeated heavily-favored Ghana in a qualifying match for the 1998 World Cup. Few people there have televisions, so those that did brought them out or set them in windows, and I would see hundreds of people crowding around this tiny TV watching the game as if it were a matter of life-and-death. When, this year, Togo qualified for the World Cup finals for the first time ever, the president declared a national holiday.

So, the World Cup 2006 tournament begins tomorrow in Germany, and Togo is there! They won 4-0 in their final warm-up game Tuesday, and they are excited to face South Korea in their first tournament game next Tuesday at 3:00 p.m. local time (8:00 a.m. Chicago time, shows on ESPN2, wanna join me to watch?). In the lists I have read of potential upsets for the tournament, one of the often-mentioned games to watch is Togo vs. South Korea. If underdog Togo wins, you will be able to hear Africa shouting from here.

I have been amused today at how many people have been talking about Togo. Articles in The San Francisco Chronicle (I e-mailed the author and he wrote me back a nice response), The Tampa Tribune, and elsewhere talk about the joy of this tiny African nation at their team's participation in the tournament. As someone who loves Togo, it's a lot of fun to see.

Well, I'm not a soccer fanatic or even really keep up with the teams I used to watch regularly in Europe (by the way, Togo's star player Emmanuel Adebayor plays for one of my favorite European club teams, Arsenal), but World Cup soccer is a lot of fun, and it's easy to get caught up in the energy. I'm looking forward to catching some games over the next month.

It Was Simply a Desire to Travel....

I love the quote from Thomas Mann's Death in Venice:

It was simply a desire to travel; but it had presented itself as nothing less than a seizure, with intensely passionate and indeed hallucinatory force, turning craving into vision. His imagination, still not at rest from the morning's hours of work, shaped for itself a paradigm of all the wonders and terrors of the manifold earth, of all that it was now suddenly striving to envisage....Very well then--he would travel. Not all that far, not quite to where the tigers were. A night in the wagon-lit and a siesta of three or four weeks at some popular holiday resort in the charming south....

Tonight I got my photos taken for my new passport. My first passport expires on June 4. It's hard to believe that just 10 years ago I was preparing for my first trip ever out of the country, but now I have traveled extensively through nearly 20 countries on 3 continents. That even increased my desire to travel in my own country, and I have been to 43 of the US States, 40 of those within the past 10 years.

If you were to ask me what have been the most significant forces in my life in a positive sense to make me who I am today, there are a couple things that would quickly come to mind. First would be parents and a grandmother who showed me by example what it means to learn and change and not assume I know everything, to live by a strong moral code of unselfishness and giving to others, to not be afraid to admit I am wrong, and who, in spite of differences and disagreements (sometimes very sharp) have always loved me unfailingly. But outside of the direct influence of my family, perhaps no other force in my life has so radically affected my outlook on life than my international traveling.

For travel is not just about getting the snapshot from the top of the Eiffel Tower (spent weeks in Paris and never did that....the Arc de Triomphe view is far better). It's not about bringing back t-shirts and key chains and making family members sit through hours of slides of your trip to Thailand on New Year's Even when they would rather be just about anywhere else besides listening to you drone on and on about the....oh, sorry, I think some bitterness against my uncle just came out there.

Traveling internationally will give you a perspective on life and culture and politics and belonging that you cannot get any other way, I am convinced. This is something that starts from the moment you leave the airport of your home. There's a big difference from a Los Angeles-Chicago flight than a Chicago-Accra, Ghana flight. It took me 24 hours of travel with a layover in Europe to get to Africa, and suddenly, I started to comprehend how big the planet is and how small my little world had been to that point.

I saw my thinking transform from that scourge of Midwestern Mentality and American superiority to understanding how much I could learn from other cultures and peoples. I began to understand the subtle undercurrent of prejudice that ran through my beliefs and opinions. In Africa, I experienced something that very few American-born white guys have the privilege of experiencing, and that is to get a glimpse of what it is like to truly live as a minority. For there were times in Africa when I would go days without seeing another person with white skin. Admittedly, the Togolese people are very kind and welcoming to the "yovos" (white-skinned people), but just the feeling of being on the "outside" has never left me. And I think (and hope) it has helped me to be more sensitive and understanding since I have been back in the States.

One of the coolest things I have noticed which shows me that perhaps something fundamental changed in my mind from traveling is this: 10 years ago, without exception, every one of my close friends was a white American of western-European descent. Today, however, through no conscious choice or intention to make it this way, I have been blessed to have one of the most international group of friends of anyone I know. And stop chuckling, they are not all from Asia!

So, I am thankful for several things tonight. First, I am thankful for the privilege I have had to travel--simply for the amazing places I have seen and things I have experienced, from the historic grandeur of the Coliseum in Rome to the happily-endured heartburn from the little greasy fajita stand in Mexico to the silent awe at the breathtaking Cliffs of Moher in Ireland to the ingenuity, beauty, and hospitality shown to us at the mud castles of the Tam Berma people in Togo. Second, I am thankful for the way traveling has changed my perspective on the world, trusting it has made me into a better person. And finally, I'm so thankful that it's time for me to get a new passport so I can get rid of that picture with those huge glasses. What was I thinking?